NEW QUESTION: So, your paper work is in. Now what?

Now we begin the interviewing process. Some people say this is the hardest part. You essentially have your lives picked apart. Nic and I will do an interview together and then individual interviews. And then our home study interview. From what we've heard, from the interview process to when we are approved can be about a month. I'm hoping it will happen a little sooner. When we will get a baby after we're approved? Well, that's up to the Lord.

NEW QUESTION: Will you be doing a domestic or international adoption?

We will be doing a domestic (state side) adoption. The costs that are involved with international adoptions are a little too much for us (plus all the additional red tape that you need to go through). We feel that this is the best decision for us.

What made you decide to adopt?

We knew when we were dating that if we were to get married, having children would be hard for us. There were a lot of things working against us. After much heartache and disappointment, we went to the Lord in prayer. The decision to adopt was truly inspired by the Lord. Though, we felt that we should begin both the process of adoption and IVF, we promised we would pay attention to promptings from the Lord. The Lord let us know that before we were to have biological children, there was a tender spirit that needed to come to our home through adoption.

What agency will you use for your adoption?

This is something that we have thought long and hard about. When we first started this process, we felt that we needed to adopt an older child (between 3-5). So, we knew we would do our homestudy through LDS Family Services and have them release it to Idaho Health & Welfare. We choose to do it this way because we thought the homestudy through LDS Family Services was less expensive; however we recently learned that doing our home study through H&W is less expensive. So, why not go through H&W? Well, when we learned that it was cheaper I (Elaine) thought that myself, but after thinking about it some more it just didn't feel right. I felt that we need to begin with LDS Family Services like we originally planned.



So, for now that is what we will do. Again, being sure to pay attention to any promptings from the Lord. We have learned through everything that we have experienced He is over all.

How does your family feel about your decision to adopt?

The are supportive about our decision. They know that we have prayed and fasted a lot about our decision. We understand at times it may be difficult for them as they themselves will go through a mourning period of not having a biological grandchild/niece/nephew.

We know that the Lord will give comfort to those that need comfort.

Do you want to adopt a boy or a girl?

Originally, when we started this process we felt it was not only an older child but we also felt it was a boy. But we would be happy with any child that the Lord would have in our home.

How long will the adoption process take?

This is a toughie, there's so many factors that go into this. If it is a designated adoption and we're just start our paperwork, LDS Family Services tends to speed up the process. From what we've learned it takes approximately one month to get approved.

After we've been approved, being placed with a child is on the Lord's time table. We've heard stories of people that were selected two weeks after their approval and others have waited years. Waiting is just part of the journey of becoming parents.

We know that choosing adoption is not a "quick fix" to becoming parents but we do know that this is what the Lord would have us do.

Does the Birth Mom (Parents) have to live in Idaho?

No they don't. They can be from any where in the United States (International as well. Though International adoptions are a little more complicated). We just have to be abiding to the laws of the state (or country) that we are adopting from.

Does the Birth Parent(s) have to be LDS?

No they do not. I would however recommend they go through LDS Family Services. There are many benefits that are offered to birth parents that place through them. One of them: life-time counseling. This really stood out to us. Also, the birth parents will not be pushed into adoption. LDS Family Services help the birth parents weigh out their options. They respect the decision of the birth parents.

What's the difference between an "Open" and "Closed" Adoption?

An open adoption not only allows for birth parents and adoptive couples to meet prior to placement, but it also allows them to continue communication after the baby has been placed. With an open adoption, it also helps the baby to know who is birth parents are. The birth parents are talked about. The birth parents are not anonymous to the child they placed. Both LDS Family services and H&W encourage open adoptions; however the level of open adoption is entirely up to us.

Closed adoption is the exact opposite of an open adoption. While the child may know that they were adopted, they do not know their birth mother. There is no communication (of any kind) between the birth parents and adoptive couple. When you hear of adoptees looking to make contact with their birth parents, more often then not their adoption was a closed adoption. With open adoptions, the adoptee already has contact with their birth parents(s).

It seems that closed adoptions are a thing of the past, but they still do happen.